I Still Remember You
by Miyukitty
Summary: in progress: Mia's side of the story - how Alex changed her life, for better or for worse.
1. Promise

Author's note: There is a lot of speculation when it comes to Alex and Mia... What exactly is the nature of their relationship? Does she hate him, by the end of GS:TLA, or does she still care? Is he like a brother, a lover, or simply a traitor? I hope to explore this a bit with this story, which will be several short chapters long. Please enjoy, and review if you have the time. C:

* * *

I was only seven years old when he came to live with us. Father said it was sickness that had claimed the boy's parents; that I should treat him kindly, since he was in a great deal of pain. I didn't understand back then, because my mother had passed away during my birth, and I never knew her. But I would never forget the haunted look in those sea-green eyes, as he solemnly took my hand, clasping it silently in the chill winter air. I would never forget the promise my young heart made – that I would be the one to make him smile again. That he would never again feel this pain.

***

As the months went by, Father explained more about who the boy was. Even then, I can remember how tired and worn his face had been, as he wearily told me, "His name is Alex. He's about three years older than you, give or take, and his parents were some of the last Mercury clanners we had left. We were all hoping they would have more children before... well, it's too late for wishes. Treat him like the brother you always wanted, all right? He's some of the only family you've got left..."

I remember my child self smiling and nodding, not ever picking up on the more subtle nuances of my father's speech._ Mercury Clan members were physically weak, susceptible to all manners of illness and misfortune. We die easily. Our clan was nearly extinct. Had our families survived, Alex and I would probably have been in an arranged marriage, a last-ditch effort to keep our tribe alive, but... too late. _Father dared not tell me that side of the story... I had never even visited the town of Imil, since Father kept me safe and secluded where we lived, in the outskirts closer to the Lighthouse. He didn't want anything to happen to me. I didn't mind, because I was busy with Alex.

***

I can't remember a lot of how we spent our childhood days, but I do remember the first day Alex smiled at me. It was spring by then – the mysterious, introverted, sad little boy had barely spoken for months. He simply followed me around, always at my side, a quiet shadow. And I always took his hand in mine, and smiled cheerfully, and lead him around Father's house, the yard, the beach, the places my seven-year-old self was allowed to go without supervision, trying naively to heal the pain in his broken heart. That day we were at the shore, side by side, bundled up in our heavy cloaks and jackets, hoping the spring squalls would subside enough for us to try swimming. They never did. A gust of rainy wind whipped my favourite white ribbon from my hair, dancing it high into the stormy air. I tried jumping for it, but it was always just out of my reach... and like any child, I began to cry. The ribbon had belonged to my mother, and Father would be so upset if I lost it...

Alex stood still, watching me with a troubled expression. As I sniffled, rubbing my eyes and feeling miserable, Alex held out his hands... My ribbon drifted right down, landing peacefully onto his outstretched palms. To this day, I'm not sure if he had some early control over his Psynergy, or if it really was sheer luck, but it was so magical to me... I ran up to him, giving him a huge hug, and that was when he smiled. "Here you go, Mia," he said softly, tying the ribbon back into my hair, a clumsy attempt to imitate the bow he'd seen me wearing. It was lopsided, but... it was still perfect. I still wear that frayed white ribbon today... although he never tied it for me again.

***

When I turned ten and Alex was thirteen, Father called us both downstairs to have a talk. I remember being nervous, but excited, because I had always known that this would happen. Father was the best, the only, healer that Imil had, and everyone in the Mercury Clan knew how to use the healing techniques of Psynergy. We were a people one with water, the soothing waves of the ocean, the basis of life. I was more astute now, and I could see the streaks of grey running through his thinning blue hair, the deep worry lines in his weathered face. My father was exhausted. He was working himself to death. Alex and I both wanted to take over his work, help him somehow, but we were too young – until now.

"Mia, Alex... Both of you know the blood that flows through your veins. As the last descendants of the Mercury Clan, it is your duty to protect the people of Imil, and to guard our sacred Mercury Lighthouse. The world will fall into chaos if the Lighthouse beacon shines again! The people of Weyard are not ready for the powers of Alchemy – only those four clans devoted to the protection of their arts are allowed to wield the holy power of their element."

Alex looked troubled, and opened his mouth to speak, but I nudged him to be silent. It would not do to disrespect Father by interrupting, when he was about to charge us with such an important task! Alex frowned, but acquiesced to me. I was younger than him, but he always listened to me...

Father paused for a moment, studying the both of us with his piercing blue eyes. He was a very intimidating man, and now that I think back on it, I don't think he ever truly got over my mother's abrupt passing. It was sad, but my childhood would have been cold and miserable without Alex with me.

"You are both of age now, and I would like to train you together. You will become healers, the passive protectors of our Mercury Lighthouse. You will be respected and honored by the village, and in turn, you will mend their aches and ills. You will share all responsibilities equally, is that clear?"

We both nodded gravely, with only a vague idea of what we were actually agreeing to. All we knew was that we'd be together forever, and that was all right with me.


	2. Loss and Gain

Author's Note: These are short chapters, but there should be at least two more after this. Alex sure has changed a lot! Don't worry - he may seem OOC now, but he'll grow into it. Trust me! I'm not used to writing in first person, though, so I hope no one minds hearing Mia's disjointed thoughts.

* * *

It wasn't hard to learn Psynergy – both of us had been born with it, and had mastered small tricks without even realizing what we were capable of. Father took us on walks to Imil, so that we could finally meet the townsfolk that braved the snowy weather, and practice our Ply skills over and over again. I didn't mind the monotony; I was a healer's daughter, and I would grow up to be a healer myself. It was nice to actually help people, and to see the gratitude on their faces... It was starting to chafe Alex, though, who clearly had a wider range of skills than I did. He could move faraway objects, conjure breezes, and stir up mighty waves, but Father would not teach him skill sets outside of what was required. They began to argue more, which put me in a terrible position. Who should I side with?

"If we're supposed to protect that Lighthouse," Alex grumbled one day, rubbing his gloved hands together in the sharp chill, "why won't he teach us moves to protect it with?! If somebody shows up here with the Elemental Star, knowing full well that our clan is basically dead, how is 'Ply' gonna stop them?"

He stubbornly avoided my eyes, something he did a lot when he knew I disapproved. He was taller than me now, his shoulders more broad, his hair longer and shaggier. He was almost fifteen by now, so I was barely twelve. We were still close, but I was starting to feel left behind. Alex was so much better than me when it came to Psynergy. Would I learn when I was his age, or were boys stronger than girls? I knew he would always be taller than me now – I was fated to be short – but I could barely keep up with him in our lessons, and I thought for sure I'd be smarter than him.

"Mia, do you understand what I'm saying?" he mumbled, pulling up his scarf so that it obscured his long face. I sighed and nodded, adjusting his hood so that he was better protected against the fierce northern winds. It was always cold here, always icy and blanketed in snow. Yet he still insisted on trying to tempt the weather, not closing his cloak, not wearing a hat, not dressing properly at all!

"Yes, Alex, but do you really think after all these generations that some strangers will show up with the Elemental Star? Honestly, I think it's long lost. You really should focus on healing, like Father–"

"But I want you to be safe! I could care less about the stupid Lighthouse, but if some monsters come sniffing around, I want a way to keep them clear from you..."

Alex was much more open back then, more impulsive and possessive. He was bold, honest, a bit rebellious... It was sweet, how much he cared for me, and I cared the same. I suppose we were a bit like brother and sister, just like Jenna and Felix. But it was more complicated than that, as I would soon learn. Besides, I always took his affection for granted. Whenever he said things like that, wanting to look out for me and such, I rather brushed him off. I was supposed to look after him, and not the other way around. I used to be arrogant like that...

Things changed when Father died.

I was fifteen then. Alex was nearly an adult. We had both mastered our craft – I was well-known in the village, as their "healing angel". Alex had studied hand-to-hand combat in secret, butI knew about it and said nothing. Both of us were concerned about Imil's fate, since several villagers had contracted a serious illness, one that presented the same way as the disease that killed Alex's family. Father had been gone all day, supposedly tending to the Mercury Lighthouse fountain, to retrieve some of the Water of Hermes for the sick.

He never came back.

That night, Alex and I found him outside on the path, an empty bottle clutched in his hand. The fountain was dry. The shock had made his heart attack him, as we had always feared would happen. There was nothing either of us could have done.

That was when I understood what Alex had gone through, eight years ago. Losing someone, losing a person that had always been there, losing a part of yourself... It's a horrible feeling. I can't remember a lot of what went on for the next month or two... it's very hazy to me. I remember a lot of crying, of me not wanting to leave the house... I imagine Alex must have fed me, but for the life of me, I can't remember what. It was rough. The one thought that kept returning to me, though, was that my father could rest now... he could finally be back with Mother. And now it was my duty to take care of his Lighthouse, and set things straight. I would never let the beacon of Mercury be lit!

***

I can remember very clearly the day I got up again. I walked down the stairs, pale but smiling, looking for Alex. He heard me coming, and came running to check on me. It was then that I saw how much I had worried him... Of course he had been hurt by my father's passing as well, and then to have to nurse me like a child, wondering if I would ever come out of my depression, or if my heart would simply give up on me too... Poor Alex was a wreck! He looked so thin, sleepless bruises beneath his haunted sea-green eyes, his hair long and bedraggled – I imagine I looked about the same, but it still came as a shock to me, how much Alex needed me around...

He swept me up into a fierce hug, burying his face into my thin shoulder. "I thought I'd lose you too," he mumbled, his long arms tight around my waist. I hadn't felt his touch, not like this, for a long time... and it surprised me to feel a flutter in my chest, a sudden light-headedness. The embrace only lasted a moment, but it was forever etched into my memory.

I realized there might be more in my life than simply working in my late father's shadow...


	3. Opportunity

Author's note: Wow, I definitely didn't think it would take me a whole year to get back to this story. :) If anyone's been waiting that long, my apologies! Inspiration comes and goes. I only had one more chapter in mind after this one - it's a short story. I realize the time-line is a little sketchy, too, but this chapter still takes place when Mia is fifteen. If Mt. Aleph erupts shortly thereafter, it should still fit chronologically with the games. I hope. C: As always, comments/reviews/suggestions are welcome.

* * *

I had a lot of catching up to do, of course, since I had neglected everything during my mourning. The people of Imil were getting sicker – the illness was spreading, although it hadn't proved fatal yet. Without the Water of Hermes, though, how could we do anything? Ply could repair the internal damages, but the disease itself would remain, so my healing was only a temporary measure. I could stall it, but not defeat it.

Alex wouldn't let me go to the Lighthouse alone, and I soon learned why – monsters had appeared. The violent creatures of myth and hearsay, the nightmares that had supposedly been banished when the powers of Alchemy were sealed... They were here. And of course, I could not fight them. Alex had been right all along. It seemed like as our clan dwindled to its final pair, the very structures of Weyard were crumbling.

Despite the turmoil, though, it wasn't all of the stress and the exhaustion that I remember the most clearly. Alex and I struggled to heal the people of Imil, but we couldn't eradicate the source of the symptoms. We could only hold it at bay for a little longer, and it was beginning to resist our Psynergy, we could feel it. The fight against plague and the loss of my father would have torn me to pieces were it not for that one night... my most precious memory.

The house was so quiet with just the two of us, mere teenagers with far too much responsibility on our shoulders. We didn't have to cook, since the townspeople paid us with what food they had to offer. Bread, and fish when they could catch it, were our usual meals. But we still swept the floors, and took turns washing our clothes at the shore, and tried to keep things as orderly as they had been before. Alex practiced his combat in the open now, jogging in the frigid cold and pulling chin-ups in our doorway. I watched him sometimes, but it wouldn't be long before a sick feeling crept into the pit of my stomach, imagining him off fighting the monsters at the Lighthouse. He could be killed, healer or not. I never watched him for long.

The one night I was speaking of came too quickly. A pair of strangers appeared on our doorstep, clad in heavy cloaks and hoods hiding their faces. They told us the villagers had turned them away for fear that they might contract their illness, but they needed a place to stay. Without a second though, I opened our doors to them. They were Saturos and Menardi.

Alex was immediately drawn to them. I should have recognized that power attracts more power. Instead, I was fascinated by their blood-red eyes and the stories they told us of their own clan. They were only staying here for the night, and in the morning, they would continue traveling deeper inland. They had business to attend to in a town called Vale. If I had realized the implications then... If I knew then what I know now, I wonder: how many of our tribulations would have been avoided? We could have traveled together to face the Wise One, and lit the Lighthouses side by side... But it was not meant to be...

The crackling fire was dying, and I was falling asleep at the table. Still, I could hear Alex's low murmuring, conversing earnestly with the northerners. His gaze kept flicking back to me, and to this day I don't know whether he was checking to see if I was asleep, or watching me as he weighed the options in his mind. Stay or go. Live with me... or see the world. He had always had a stubborn streak, but he wasn't a bad person. I cannot believe that he was ever power-hungry, no matter what the others say, because... he saw how it was eating away at me, the day to day stress, the struggle of living in the shadow of my late father's expectations and the family legacy. I think Alex knew that lighting the Mercury beacon would give me a chance to live my life, even if I ended up hating him for it. Maybe in his final moments... maybe then the power struck a chord with his ambition, but he had already achieved his goal then. He had already gotten me to leave Imil and see the same beautiful dying world he had.

I barely stirred as I felt those strong arms scoop me up, carry me up the stairs to my bed. I felt more safe when Alex was holding me than at any other time. With my face nestled against his chest, I could hear him breathe, I could hear his heart beat. If only I could hear what he was thinking. He lay me gently onto the straw-stuffed mattress, draping the worn blanket about me to make sure I wouldn't get too cold. I was so drowsy, I could barely flutter my eyes open to watch him. He smiled when he caught me peeking. Alex wasn't usually so tender... He normally acted tough, rash even, reckless towards his own well-being while protective towards mine. He didn't say a word, but he brushed the strands of hair from my face, hesitated for a moment, and...

A kiss... Oh, how my young heart flew at the feeling, the unforgettable warmth that rushed all the way to my fingertips, chasing away the Imil chill. I've never known such exaltation, not prior, and not since. I was speechless, breathless even, rooted in place by the look in Alex's eyes. He wasn't a sad little boy anymore, or even a rebellious teen... this was a man in love, and his adoring gaze said he was in love with me.

To say I felt confused was an understatement; I had already loved him as a brother and a best friend, but these romantic sensations were alien to me. I had never had the spare time to daydream about being in love, but of course... if I was to fall in love with someone, it would have to be Alex. We were inseparable. Perhaps I had a crush on him all along, and just couldn't realize it. The day he caught my ribbon by the beach, I remember wishing he would be the one to tie my hair every day, not just the once...

If Garet or Isaac are reading this memoir, my apologies... but at least now you can understand my stand-offish behavior, my aloof reaction when first we met. I could not bear to allow anyone new into my heart, not after the gaping hole that Alex left in his wake. Know that I now consider you two, and Ivan and Jenna as well, my closest and dearest friends. At the time, though, the wounds were still raw. I was working myself sick trying to save Imil single-handedly, and trying not to remember how he kissed me...

He slipped quickly out of my bedroom, pulling the door shut behind him. I lay wide-awake, my heart thundering in my chest, staring into the dark. Alex kissed me. Without saying a word, he had told me everything I so longed to hear – that we really would be together forever, that we were meant for each other, that this dreary place we lived could be a happy one for us. For the first time in my life, I was eager to see what the morning would hold. Like any foolish lovesick girl, my dreams showed me a wedding ceremony, traveling to a new sunny land, having children. A happy ending.

And when I awoke, he was gone forever.


End file.
